My name is Ahuva. I had been married close to twenty years when I finally had my first babies – two beautiful twin girls Naomi and Dina. The joy they brought us was unparalleled. As much as I yearned for children I never in my wildest dreams imagined this level of joy. All the feelings of isolation that were so much a part of our childless years fell to the wayside. We were now surrounded by endless love from our family and friends.

The years of raising them flew by in a whirlwind of family time, shopping, visits to grandparents, and celebrating both minor and major milestones. Both Naomi and Dina thrived, did well in school, were talented, and if I may say so myself were truly beautiful children.

It was soon time for Shidduchim and with much joy we realized that the market was open to us. Our daughters were in high demand as we set aside to find the best possible bachurim in learning and middos.

Within a year both our daughters were married, living nearby, and joining us now as a family of four. They were all successful in their lives and we thanked the Rebono Shel Olam every day for our nachas.

Soon the grandchildren started coming, and we hosted them and helped our young couples as much as possible. We had them over for extended weekends and for yom tov. We would also take the children so the parents can have some time off.

Once again time flew and soon our grandchildren were ready to leave the coop and start their own homes. We as parents though were beginning to age and some of our family time took a turn with us now visiting the children. We were a close knit family in every respect.

…. Then things changed. Sharply and abruptly the nest fell apart.

Without any warning, as often happens, my husband developed dementia. Thankfully we had taken out a disability policy many years earlier and his needs were thus cared for.

What I never anticipated was the power my children would now present towards requesting their inheritance. We weren’t especially wealthy. We had worked hard all the years and had a few dollars put away. A trust had been set up for them but not for while we were still around.

As my husband deteriorated and I looked around for a hand to hold, I was pained to realize that I was now alone. My dear and wonderful children were putting a condition on our relationship. They were demanding the funds in our account. I could not believe their coldness.

Who was influencing them? How could things have gotten so horrifically out of hand.?

I was older now and weaker too. I craved the closeness of my children. I reached out to family, to friends, and to our leadership. All I encountered was more powerlessness and realized, with a crushing reality, that I was alone with my burden.

I have cried out every tear and am drained. Will someone please explain to me how a loving parent can be isolated by her own children in her elder years?

Is there any saving grace? I can share, that yes, I do have some very special grandchildren that have been coming by and are warm, loving., and above all understanding. However, that is not a replacement for my own children. I miss them dearly.