Dear Reader, Being a family torn at its roots and growing in opposing directions requires thoughtful and strategic thinking. Instinctively to shield us from grief, we are tempted to hide in the world of make-believe. Yet that will not defuse the trauma. Beyond the surface lies an unbearable pain where the truth has become ever so mangled that the logical mind can no longer decipher clarity from confusion. The longer the lies linger the greater the tales become and the harsher the pain. It is the pain that can bring untold tragedy and must be stopped. As I try to place a single terminology to the painful experience of my family the closest I can get is ‘engineered captivity’. To the world we appeared free. Yet our psyches were captured and thus much damage had been done to our relationships…

I love sitting at the Miami Beach coastal line. The harsher the weather the more likely you’ll find me there. The waves rise high and come crashing down to the shore. Over and over, higher and higher, just like the pounding of my own heart. My life is a storm. The more I feel the waves on the outside the less I feel them on the inside. That crush and bang of overpowering magnitude is just what I need to still the explosive tremors of my soul. The past five years have been sheer torture. What began as a life full of hopes and dreams and a better future has become a volcano size nightmare. …… Please Log in or Register to see full story.

My name is Ahuva. I had been married close to twenty years when I finally had my first babies – two beautiful twin girls Naomi and Dina. The joy they brought us was unparalleled. As much as I yearned for children I never in my wildest dreams imagined this level of joy. All the feelings of isolation that were so much a part of our childless years fell to the wayside. We were now surrounded by endless love from our family and friends. The years of raising them flew by in a whirlwind of family time, shopping, visits to grandparents, and celebrating both minor and major milestones. Both Naomi and Dina thrived, did well in school, were talented, and if I may say so myself were truly beautiful children. It was soon time for Shidduchim and with much joy we…